My sister was treated very badly by a friend. She was taken advantage of emotionally over and over. Very recently an occasion presented itself, and my sister just couldn't take it, it was the proverbial straw that broke her back. They broke up.
It's hard. I've been where she is. You feel like you've lost valuable time that you could have invested elsewhere. You feel cheated and slighted and stupid for ever thinking the relationship was healthy; something mutual. You feel sad that people can let you down so hard. And when it's all done, you mourn on top of it all, because it really is a death no matter how stunted it was.
Well, one year way back this friend knit her a scarf. Nothing special and it was rarely used, but none-the-less a reminder of this sour friendship; a bright orange flag waving in her coat closet. K was done with the reminders, she bagged everything up that even reminded her of this fruitless time and brought it over for me and my family to look over before it was trashed. I drew the orange scarf out of the bag, hmmm... yarn for another project? Ah, two birds with one stone...I fished out the woven-in end of yarn and handed it to K, it quickly unraveled. Therapy. As she yanked her jaw clenched, her pulls became purposeful and deliberate. It was a relatively light atmosphere, as we all watched her tug. We joked and laughed, though we collectively knew it had to be done. I'm no therapist, and I don't know if this little exercise would be sanctioned, but it seemed to help. It was so symbolic of that dead friendship. Karlee had put in so much careful and thoughtful work and it all just came undone.
Now it was her turn to do some damage.